


(things fall apart) but nothing breaks like a heart

by hyuck127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Excessive Drinking, Excessive smoking, Falling Out of Love, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Lack of Communication, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Song Lyrics, Song: Nothing Breaks Like A Heart (Miley Cyrus), Toxic Relationship, bad behavior, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 11:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17621834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuck127/pseuds/hyuck127
Summary: there was nothing left of what used to be love, passion, companionship and trust.





	(things fall apart) but nothing breaks like a heart

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! hope you enjoy this, feel free to leave a comment if you want to!!!
> 
> thank you for reading!
> 
> Song: Nothing breaks like a heart - Mark Ronson ft. Miley Cyrus

jeno and jaemin have been dating for 3 years but it felt like a lifetime to both of them.

to be honest, their love was not the same as before. their kisses were not the same as before, they did not spend too much together, every day they fought more and more, their anniversary date had been long forgotten by both of them.

there was nothing left of what used to be love, passion, companionship and trust.

that’s why jaemin wasn’t surprised when he found out that jeno was cheating the night before his birthday.

they were used to living and dying by pretty lies now. he knew it, jeno knew it too.

after dinner, jeno’s phone rang. jaemin wanted to see who was calling, but jeno moved faster than jaemin’s eyes and answered the phone call quickly, leaving jaemin alone in the dining room. he stood up from his chair and followed jeno stealthily. jaemin knew that it was bad to overhear someone’s conversation, especially if that someone was your boyfriend. but he couldn’t resist the temptation.

it turned out to be jeno’s classmate who was callling, someone named yukhei. jaemin heard something about meeting tomorrow after basketball practice so he figured out that this yukhei guy was also jeno’s teammate. he also heard jeno call this unknown guy ‘his big baby’. jaemin laughed and returned to the dining room, to the same spot where he was supposed to be.

when jeno came back, jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes and asked him “who was calling?” jaemin was testing jeno. he wanted to see it the older was able to lie to him. “it was my mom” jeno answered dryly. he laughed ironically and went to his bedroom. “goodnight jeno”, he said but the older did not answer.

it was midnight, when jaemin’s phone ringing woke him up. he looked at the caller id to see that it was renjun the one who was calling him.

“i was enjoying my sleep huang what do you want?” he said annoyed after he answered.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” the older screamed and jeno had to take his phone out of his ear, he did not want to go deaf the day of his 19th birthday.

“oh god, i’m sorry, honestly i did not remember that it was my birthday today, thank you renjun” he said sadly, this whole jeno cheating thing made him forget his birthday.

“go back to sleep, see you tomorrow” and before jaemin could say goodbye to him, renjun had already hang up.

jaemin woke up that morning feeling a heavyweight on top of him. “happy birthday my baby“ jeno said while kissing his forehead and then hugging him tightly “get up, i prepared breakfast” he said while kissing jaemin’s cheek. when jeno left the room, jaemin stayed lying on the bed while looking at ceiling. ‘this is going to be a long and weird day’ jaemin thought while getting up from his bed.

jaemin did not want to start his birthday fighting so he went along with jeno’s romantic attitude. after all, it was his birthday. he had to try to enjoy his day in the best possible way.

when the night arrived, jaemin could not hide his discomfort anymore. so he decided to face jeno.

“i heard you on the phone last night” jaemin said dryly. he was not looking at the older but he could felt jeno’s nervousness who almost threw a plate on the floor. jeno did not answer, he was paralyzed, his back facing jaemin, while he pretended to be washing the dishes.

jaemin sighed “jeno, i’m talking to you” he said with annoyance in his voice “why are you lying to me jeno?” he paused and took a deep breath, he did not want to cry “i heard you talking with yukhei, i heard you calling him your big baby” jaemin said between sobs, he could not contain his tears anymore. “please don’t lie to me anymore, please” he begged.

jeno was still standing there with his back facing jaemin, a few tears coming down his face. but he remained silent. “if you don’t love me anymore please say it to me, i don’t want to suffer jeno, i don’t deserve this” he said and then proceeded to leave the apartment, leaving jeno alone with his thoughts.

it was kinda late, so he decided to go to renjun’s apartment. while walking towards there, he started to think about renjun. jaemin really liked renjun. he was his best friend, his brother, his everything. they met when they both were 7 years old and since then, they never pull apart. their friendship was something that jaemin valued too much. renjun was always there for him when he needed him the most, and he really appreciated that. in these difficult times for him, he was grateful to have renjun in his life, always supporting him and doing his best to cheer him up.

once he arrived renjun’s apartment, he knocked the door with a few tears going down his face. and when renjun opened the door, he could not contain himself anymore. he rushed into the arms of renjun while crying. after a few seconds of trying to calm the younger down, renjun let him in. “if you don’t want to talk about it then don’t do it, you can just cry until you want to talk” renjun said while caressing jaemin’s hair. the younger cried for almost an hour until he fell asleep in renjun’s lap. “i wish you could value and love yourself jaemin, you deserve the whole world and even so much more” the older softly whispered, he did not want to wake jaemin up.

jaemin woke up in renjun’s sofa a few hours later. he looked for renjun but the older was nowhere to be seen. when he moved to the other side of the sofa, he saw renjun peacefully sleeping on the floor. jaemin shook him slowly so he would wake up. “ren, what are you doing there? it must be uncomfortable, go to your bed” jaemin ordered to the older. “let’s go to sleep to my bed” renjun said while slowly getting up from the floor and stretching his back. “i don’t want to leave you here all alone” he said while offering his hand to jaemin.

“so, would you mind telling me what happened? why are you here when you are supposed to be celebrating your birthday with jeno?” renjun asked, now both of them were lying in renjun’s bed.

jaemin took a deep breath and then dramatically sighed, and while looking at the ceiling he said “jeno is cheating on me with someone called wong yukhei” renjun gasped and then proceeded to hug jaemin. “i’m so sorry” the older said. “it’s okay, i guess we don’t love each other like we used to anymore” he said and renjun hates to admit it but while hearing that, he felt some kind of happiness and relief.

the next morning, when jaemin was about to leave renjun gave him as a late birthday gift, a painting of him sleeping in renjun’s sofa. jaemin hugged the older and thanked him for the gift. when he was outside the building, walking back home, he saw a note stuck in the back of the painting in which it was read “this world can hurt you, it cuts you deep and leaves a scar. but i’ll always be here to heal you. Renjun”.

when jaemin arrived at his apartment, he saw jeno smoking a cigarette in the balcony. he could tell by the smoke that was inside the living room that it wasn’t the first one. he must have been smoking for hours.

jaemin closed the door and looked around their apartment. there was nothing left of what they used to call their sweet home. now it was just a shared apartment that contained thousands of memories of what they used to be, not such a long time ago. jaemin could not deny that he missed all of that.

“jaemin” he heard jeno’s voice calling him from the balcony. he went over there where jeno was smoking. “can we talk?” jeno asked once jaemin was standing next to him. the younger only nodded, agreeing with him, but he remained silent. “i’m sorry” jeno said “like, deeply sorry, i should have never done that, i should have never took your love for granted, i’m sorry” he said, almost breaking down.

instead of answering, jaemin choose to kiss jeno. at first, jeno did not kiss him back because he was surprised as hell, he wasn’t expecting that kiss at all. but then, jeno kissed him back. it was a kiss full of regret, sadness and remorse. “i’m truly deeply sorry” jeno said after breaking the kiss. “it’s okay” jaemin whispered. he was hoping for everything to be okay again.

it was Friday night and they were going to a club to celebrate jaemin’s birthday. jaemin wished that that night would end okay, without fights involved between jeno and him. he was used to that now. since a few months ago, every time they went out, they always ended up having heated arguments and fighting. he hoped for this night to end up well for the two of them.

but the night showed him that he was wrong. maybe he had high hopes, he thought while leaving the club, crying, with renjun on his side and holding him because he was extremely drunk and he couldn’t even walk straight.

“i hate him renjun, i fucking hate him” jaemin said while crying.

renjun had observed everything that had happen that night from afar. it was hard for him to see jaemin loving someone else. it was hard for him to see jaemin loving someone who did not deserve him. but still, from afar, he was taking care of jaemin. he knew that at some point in the night, jaemin and jeno were going to start fighting. and he was right.

around 1 am, jeno disappeared. jaemin, even in his drunken state, noticed that the older was nowhere to be seen, so he decided to look for him around the club. “jaemin please stay here” renjun said while holding jaemin’s wrist “he’s going to come back, maybe he went to the bathroom” renjun knew that something bad was going to happen so he tried his best to prevent it. but jaemin was faster than him, so renjun followed the younger from behind, just in case something happened.

and once again, renjun was right. jaemin saw jeno making out with a tall guy right in front of him. the fact that jeno wasn’t even trying to hide made renjun’s blood boil. jaemin gasped and turned around, with his mouth opened and tears starting to go down his face,to see if renjun was seeing the same as him. renjun tried to grab jaemin’s wrist in order to take him out of that place but, again, the younger was faster than him.  
“motherfucker” jaemin screamed while punching jeno on the back and crying. “i fucking hate you, i hate you with all my soul” jeno was now facing jaemin while the younger was punching him in the chest. jaemin stopped hitting jeno just to sit on the floor to cry while hiding his face with his hands. jeno tried to approach jaemin but renjun did not let him. “don’t fucking dare to touch him you fucking asshole” renjun said to jeno while lifting jaemin from the floor. “let’s go jaem” he said while taking the younger out of the club with him.

once they were inside renjun’s apartment, he sat jaemin in his bed and proceeded to undress him, carefully. then, he put on some old clothes on jaemin as a pajama so he could go to sleep comfortable. after drinking water and once he was lying on the bed jaemin finally spoke, “thank you renjun” he softly said, almost like a whisper. “thank you for always being here for me, thank your for taking care of me when i need help” he said while closing his eyes and turning around, ready to go sleep. “you are welcome jaem, that’s what friends are for” renjun said while caressing jaemin’s hair and watching him slowly fall asleep.

renjun fell asleep early in the morning outside in his balcony, he went over there to think about everything that was going on. he loved jaemin, but unfortunately, the younger only saw him as his best friend, as his brother, as the one who was always there for him every time he needed to ran away from jeno and all his problems.

renjun fell asleep in his balcony, hoping that some day jaemin could see him as something more than just a friend.

he woke up later that day, with back and neck pain and with a cold. he went inside, and noticed that jaemin was not there anymore. he saw a note stuck in the refrigerator, and just by seeing the handwriting, renjun could tell that it was from jaemin.

“Ren,  
I went home. I really need to talk to jeno right now, but i’ll come back later today with all my stuff. I’m moving with you until i found somewhere to live.  
Please, i hope you can understand me.  
I love you,  
Jaem.”

when jaemin arrived at his apartment, at first he was scared. he did not want to open the door. he was not ready to face jeno. he did not want to see the older, but more than a want it was a necessity. he needed to see jeno and finish with all that.

he opened the door and saw jeno sleeping on the sofa. “jeno” jaemin said trying to wake the older up. “jeno” he said louder, he did not want to touch him. jeno slowly opened his eyes and when he saw jaemin standing in front of him, he got up and sat on the sofa. “jaemin” he said without looking at him into his eyes.

jaemin took a deep breath and said “please don’t apologize, i don’t want and i don’t need your apologize, i just want to say that we are over, for good” he paused, sighed and then continued talking “i’m moving with renjun until i found an apartment, please don’t move or say anything” he said while looking at jeno’s eyes “i’m done with this, i don’t deserve your mistreatment” he was now crying even though he did not want to do it. “you don’t love me anymore, you love yukhei and that’s okay, i deserve someone who loves me for real and you deserve to love yukhei freely”.

jeno was sobbing, he could not stop crying. he felt guilty, he wanted to apologize. but jaemin was right, he didn’t love jaemin anymore and jaemin didn’t deserve that. they both were hurting, so it was better to not continue with their relationship.

“i hope you can understand me” jaemin said. “i do” jeno said between sobs.“last night we got all the night for us to fall in love again, but just like that we fell completely apart” jaemin said while packing his things in the suitcase. “we’re broken jeno, and nothing is going to save us now”.

jaemin continued to pack all his things in a completely broken silence. jeno was peacefully sleeping in the sofa after spending almost an hour crying. the only thing that could be heard was the heavy rain, the thunders crashing in the ground, the strong wind blowing, jeno’s soft snores and kiss me by ed sheeran playing on the radio, a song that used to be very important for them but now was just a meaningless record playing on the background.

when he finished packing, he took a deep breath while looking around to the now almost empty apartment. he was going to miss that place, but leaving was the best decision he could’ve made. that place will always hold a lot of good and bad memories, secrets, moments of crying and laughter, his first kisses with jeno, his first time. that apartment had witnessed every single moment of how they slowly became more than friends.

but those four walls also witnessed how their relationship slowly began to wear out.

it had witnessed the suddenly behavior change of jeno, how he went from being a sweet and caring guy to being an asshole who spent every free time he had smoking, drinking, partying or playing basketball. it had also witnessed how jaemin increasingly spent more time with renjun than with his own boyfriend.

what he used to call his home sweet home, was now just a simple apartment, almost as cold as ice.

he left the apartment and closed the door without saying a word to jeno, who was still sleeping, completely unaware of what was happening around him, like always. he wasn’t a fan of farewells, that was his weak point, saying goodbye. so he left, with a few tears going down his face. but before leaving, he decided to left a note hiding behind the flower pot with his keys,

“Jen,  
Remember what you said to me that time we were drunk and in love in Jeju? I’ll always hold it, I hope you do the same to.  
Thank you for everything,  
Jaemin”.

when he arrived at renjun’s apartment and opened the door, he saw renjun with a huge smile on his face, looking as cute as ever. “hello, do you need some help?” renjun said while going to where jaemin was standing with all his stuff. “i was cooking dinner but that could wait, let me help you” the older said while grabbing some of his boxes. jaemin looked at him, and smiled. “why are you smiling at me like that?” renjun said with a grin on his face. “are you going to stand there looking like a dumb for much longer?” jaemin laughed, maybe this was all he needed all this time he spent crying and suffering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
